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In 2016, my motherhood journey began as I gave birth to my first son three months early. My fiancé and I were at a wedding reception when I began to feel contractions-and I had no idea they were contractions. We decided to go to the hospital when the pain got worse and learned that I have actually been in labour for four hours already. I remember feeling lost, scared, confused and overwhelmed. Doctors and nurses would approach me with too much information that I didn’t understand and I was beginning to lose control over my birthing experience. 48 exhausting hours later, we welcomed our strong baby boy into the world.
I was then thrilled to find out that I was pregnant with my second son, shortly after bringing my firstborn home. I felt excited yet anxious, for I was still adjusting to learning how to mother a newborn, be a stepmom and preparing our family for a big move to another province where we wouldn’t have any family or friends nearby.
At the time it felt unreal to express myself and share my experience as a woman who suffered from postpartum depression because it simply wasn’t me-But she is a part of me. I was just two months postpartum when I began feeling the symptoms of postpartum depression:
Depressed mood or severe mood swings.
Excessive crying.
Difficulty bonding with your baby.
Withdrawing from family and friends.
Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual.
Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much.
Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy.
However, also identifying how sleep deprived I was during that time, I simply dismissed it as a side effect of exhaustion. I even blamed it on the “hormones.” I continued to push forward because that’s what ‘strong moms’ do…..right? Seeking time and support for yourself when preparing for birth and motherhood is often overlooked. I learned that there are different shades of postpartum depression, which is why I think it’s so important for women to talk about it and to get the support they need because it is a trying time. Women need to know that they’re not alone, and that it does heal. There are statistics that shows when a mother is well supported through childbirth and postpartum, her chance of suffering from postpartum depression greatly decreases.
A postpartum doula’s work is truly invaluable during this time. Here are benefits of hiring a postpartum doula:
Offer education, support and companionship
Assist with newborn care
Assist with family/sibling adjustment
Meal preparation tips
Light household chores
Provide evidence-based information on various topics such as infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery, coping skills and infant soothing.
Provide community resources if needed
Supporting births is a beautiful and enriching experience. Every family and birth is unique. As a certifying doula, I collaborate with families and thoughtfully design a package that is best suited for their specific needs, while establishing a professional and empowering relationship. Through my time working with each family I strive to provide support that is genuine, patient and researched. My years as an early childhood and development educator laid the foundation on my path to becoming a doula. Having experienced two very different births of my own and various postpartum experiences dealing with postpartum depression and baby blues, and looking back now, I wondered how much my birthing experience would have change if I had the support of a doula as part of my maternity team. I understand the challenges and emotions that can sometimes be associated with giving birth and becoming a new mom. Sometimes the road is a little (or very) different from what you dreamed of. Without the right support, motherhood can feel dark and lonely. This is why I am so passionate about sharing my energy, knowledge, skills and experience with new moms, to make motherhood a happier and healthier journey.
Nikki Nguyen is currently a mom of 2 under 2, step mom, Registered Early Childhood and Development Educator and Certifying Doula and lives in Woodstock, New Brunswick.