Secrets to a successful parent partnership

Parenting is hard. But you can get through it when you work as ONE team. *I am not discrediting single parents-they are the real super heroes in my books.* In our home, the teamwork between mommy and daddy aspect of parenting is definitely crucial in building a healthy and happy space for our growing family and most importantly, crucial in our survival during our first year (and beyond) as parents together. Here are a few ways on how we are making it work ❤ 1. Make Parenting Fun I think this is easily forgotten in the midst of stress, sleepless nights, messy moments and everything…but should definitely be #1 priority in a parenting team. Parenting is a lifelong journey that you are on together. Sometimes it can get crazy and stressful but don’t forget to look for the fun in every situation. Have theme nights at home! Go out and play! Learn something new as a family! Celebrate and share accomplishments no matter how big or small! And as a bonus, if mom and dad are having fun, so are the kids 🙂

2. Say Thank You It always feels good to feel appreciated. In our home, we thank each other for a lot of little and big things everyday to show each other that we recognize and love the little and big things we do for each other and the family. Let go of making the workload equal. Someone will always be carrying more of a load than the other person in one department or another, what matters is you acknowledge and own your role and you take responsibility for it. Always remember that you’re both giving your best and you’re both grateful for each other.

3. Communicate and Actually Listen to Each Other Communication doesn’t come easy right away for anyone. We were no exception. It takes a lot of courage and trust to fully open up. And after time, we learned more and more about each other and also realized that in order for us to work, we had to communicate and most importantly, listen to each other. What is important to you will differ from what is important to somebody else, and acknowledging, sharing and labelling those things will strengthen your understanding and patience for each other. 

4. Understand and Support Each Other Being a mom is not the same as being a dad. And so often you might not fully be able to relate to each other all the time. But when someone is having a bad day, why not pick up a few extra duties around the house to make their day a little easier? Always check in and ask how your partner is doing. If your partner isn’t the opening up type, don’t try to force them to open up. Feel out what they need and try your best to be there for them. 

5. Make decisions together Hitting milestones is huge for both parents. Be sure to talk it out when making decisions like sleep training, feeding etc. One might be ready but the other might not be, or may have a different view. Always compromise so that you are both included and always cherish each other’s input as valuable to make each experience happy and memorable. 

6. Parenting is NOT a Competition for Best Parent Always have each others back and create that “united front” in all milestones, conversations, debates etc. Being the only ‘mean’ parent in a disagreement with kids is really tough, empower your partner when disciplining and making decisions. If you don’t agree, then talk about it but in front of the kids, you agree. Always speak well of each other and embrace each others strong traits to your children so that they recognize them too.

7. Ask for and Accept Help It is everyone’s goal to be that super mom/dad who gets it right all the time. And maybe most of the time you will feel you got everything most things under control and you are on top of the world! But there will also be many times where you feel burnt out and once you feel it, please don’t push yourself to do more, you need a break to rejuvenate! If you take on more than what you can handle, you may begin to be resentful towards your loved ones. Remember that your partner has your back. Ask your partner for help and accept it. Your partner will help you the best they can. Let go of your inner OCD and refrain yourself from picking on how they do things because it will be different from how you do things. The point is, your partner is more than willing to help and you get a well deserved break. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. 

8. Pat Each Other on the Back (ALOT) Always praise each other! You will encounter many challenges in parenting, challenges that could make or break you. And we always want it to make us right? The support of a loved one does wonders. Sometimes you feel exhausted and defeated when you had to do something really hard like discipline a child or get a child through sleep regression, but that reassurance from your partner will remind you that you are doing your best, and that is enough.

9. Have Alone Time Apart Reconnecting with yourself is essential. You don’t want to lose your identity. Having a spa day or just a moment to read a chapter in your book alone does not make you selfish. You need this. 

10. Have Alone Time Together We made sure our room is a space for mommy and daddy only. We don’t have anything against co-sleeping, but we did acknowledge at the beginning the importance of having our own space to reconnect as a couple and not as mom and dad. 

It is important to develop a strong connection and partnership early on before the dreaded teenage years, but once the kids get all weird, angry and hormonal, it’s you guys vs. them, hahaha. So stay strong together moms and dads! Working together and living in harmony is the best thing you can do for your family ❤